Girl, get your life back!

 I believe the saying goes, “life be lifing”—If you’re not familiar with that phrase, perhaps you’ve heard of their first cousins named, “Truth is I’m Tied (tired), “Somebody send help”, or my all-time favorite, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another”.

Whichever phrase you resonate with the most, one thing remains true, sometimes life doesn’t go as planned and you find yourself standing at the crossroads of life singing Deborah Cox—“how DID you get here?”. 

Well that was me a couple of weeks ago, standing in the mirror trying to figure out who I was outside of motherhood and marriage. 

Trying to remember the last time I did something that was SOLELY for me. 

You see, prior to 2018, I had a life that didn’t involve wiping noses, changing diapers, and school pick ups. It was a life of speaking at conferences, writing blogs, and facilitating Vision Board parties. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a mother and wife but I hate that I let myself go in the process. You don’t have to be a member of the bee hive to admit seeing Blue and Rumi on stage with Beyoncé is a flex. Imagine building such a life, a platform, a stage that your children are catapulted into greatness simply by being related to you. And what am I giving my kids besides rides to school and juice boxes on demand? 

I know…I know. I’m not trying to oversimplify the roles that mothers play. I’m simply saying my oldest daughter really out here telling people “I JUST stay at home with her little sister all day”, when asked by someone what her mother does for a living. And what I want to say is, “if you must know, I’m the CFO of a nonprofit, the secretary of the PTO at your school, and hold all of this together” *while pointing to our immaculately clean house*. But I simply laugh and say, “yes, I stay home with J all day”. *eye roll*

Back to the story…so boom—I’m looking in the mirror and I don’t recognize the person I’ve become. 

I didn’t just stop being ‘her’ (the pre 2018 Jaleesa). It wasn’t all of a sudden—It started out as declining ONE event here and there, then it was not posting as much, then my content went from travel speaking schedules to recital pics, from vision board parties to play dates, and from booked and busy to washing baby bottles. Mix in a cross-country move, a global pandemic, PCOS weight gain, the loss of a parent, and depression… and *boom*…Just like that—Jaleesa ‘just’ the mom and wife.

However,  slowly but surely, I’m coming back into the things I love. I told yall a while back on Facebook, don’t mess around and let me get a new journal. Because nothing screams I’m about to change my life like the fresh pages of a new journal and Eric Thomas playing in the background. I’ve been planning and plotting how I can have it all (even if it’s not at the same time). And I think I might be on to a little something something. 

I’m not here to make some grand announcement saying that my books are back open to speak full time (yet), but I am here to say I’m slowly walking back in the direction of the things I once loved. 

And I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t throw some encouragement in there—this isn’t just about me this is to any person who put their dreams to the side while supporting someone else’s. For the person who silently cries because she/he no longer recognizes themselves whether it be physically, mentally, or spiritually. 

You gotta dig deep…because that person is still in there. They’ve just been taking a little nap lol but now it’s time to wake up, dust off those business plans, pull out that notebook where you  started that book, and start to dream again. 

And even though it may look different in this phase of life, it doesn’t mean it’s not possible—even if it takes a little longer.  

So let’s go y’all…the world has missed your voice. Let’s get to it! 

Your friend,

Coach Jaleesa