If I should die before I wake

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

If I should die before I wake

I pray the Lord my soul to take

AMEN

Anyone else used to say this before bed growing up? It hits a little different as an adult. It makes you think, if the Lord did indeed take me in my sleep then what?  

We don't like to talk about it...it makes us really uncomfortable but the truth of the matter is, we will all die. The bigger question is what are you leaving your loved ones with? 1) beautiful memories, a great legacy, and money to cover your final costs or 2) a headache 

2020 was rough and her first cousin 2021 came in a little hot too. Blow after blow after blow, attending more funerals in the last 2 years, than my 29 prior years combined. 

Some of you may be thinking, "ok I'm sorry for your losses but what does that have to do with me?" I'm so glad you asked! Out of the 7 deaths that I am referencing only 1 was expected (old age). So I want you to take a deep breath and say this out loud because I need you to hear it. "If I were to unexpectedly die today, can my family 1) cover my expenses? 2) afford to pay my mortgage/rent? 3) Are my children set up (guardianship)? 4) Do they even know my cell phone provider to get my phone cut off?

When my dad passed he had life insurance...THANK GOD! But the rest was a treasure hunt trying to figure out his open accounts, important paperwork etc. 

Its a lot to think about but its so important which is why I created a 12 page booklet outlining all of my personal information, my last wishes, an obituary (morbid, I know lol), and funeral plans (YALL DONT GET UP IN MY SERVICE READING ALL THEM CARDS) lol.

I'll give you a quick breakdown here but if you wish to receive a blank copy of my template, I'll be happy to email it over. (No strings attached)

Page 1--Purpose

I simply wrote a paragraph explaining why this booklet was a "thing" in the first place. See below..

"If I have trusted you with this information, that means I love you a great deal. I wanted to compile this important information in one place in the event of my death, as I know what it is to grief and try to plan the funeral of a loved one. My hope is that having all this information in one place will lighten the load of grief for you."

I Love You,

Jaleesa

Pages 2-3--Personal Information

These pages consists of some obvious things like my phone number and some not so obvious things like email passwords and social security number. Here is a list of things I included in this section; your section may be more or less detailed.

-Phone number

-Lock code to cell phone

-Phone service (AT&T, Sprint, Verizon, T-Mobile, etc)

-Phone service customer service phone number

The physical address of residency at the time the document is being prepared, the amount for mortgage/rent, how it is paid (Cash, Venmo, Online Portal, etc), and the phone number to the mortgage company/landlord. 

This is important information because the loved ones left behind need to know where to pay rent/mortgage if they decide to keep the property, the landlord or mortgage company needs to be notified, and if the house is being given to another family member the proper paper work needs to be included. A copy of personal property tax info, deeds, appraisals, etc will be helpful as well.

If you are a college student or move around a lot and your physical address doesn't match the address you have for your car insurance or where your personal property taxes are paid, this is important to include as well. 

Email addresses and passwords are important to include so that your loved ones can cancel subscriptions, have proof of receipts/closed accounts. etc.

Social security number--scan a copy if you're feeling fancy

Driver's license number--I scanned a copy of my license in my document but it's not mandatory

Voter registration number--you may not need this but if my family did need it, they have it 

The status of your income taxes and personal property taxes. Are they paid? Did you not file last year? etc.

Car model, make. and year

license plate number

Do you have a car payment? If so, how much do you pay monthly? How much do you owe overall on the car at the time you are preparing the document?

VIN number

-What about the things we don't think about? If you are the man of the house, does your wife know who cuts the grass? Who is the maintenance company that you call for household things? Your supervisor's number so your family can let your job know of your transition?

Pages 4-5 (Now we're getting to the good part--LIFE INSURANCE)

Life insurance doesn't have to be super expensive. I pay $95 a month for 3 policies and working on my last one as we speak. 2 are for me and 1 for Alisa. Yes, my 3 year has a policy and yours should too. My $50K policy is only $35. If you don't have life insurance, ask yourself can you find $35 in your budget somewhere. Maybe its one less trip to Chick-fil-A, pushing back that fill in to 4 weeks instead of 3, or cancelling one of your 4156 tv subscriptions. Find the money!

Anyway, these sheets include 

- Life Insurance Company Name

-Policy Number

-Policy Amount

-Beneficiary

-Beneficiary contact info

-Contingent Beneficiary in the event that something happens to my beneficiary

-Contingent Beneficiary contact info

-Life Insurance Contact Info

-Life Insurance Agent Name and Number

This step is repeated for each policy

-Include the child's policy information in the same above format. 

Page 6-7 Credit Cards/Debit Cards

This section lists all of my credit cards/debit cards, complete with account numbers, type of account (joint, personal, credit, etc), limits of credit cards, and the customer service number to the various banks and company so the cards can be cancelled. Since this information will be left with a trusted loved one, it wouldn't hurt to include online banking info and passwords so they can see direct deposits, monthly withdrawals, etc.

-Cashapp username and password

-paypal email and password

-venmo username and password

-any other electronic form you receive money along with password

Page  7-Loans

If you have auto loans, school loans, business loans, etc this is where you share what they are, how much they are, how they are paid, contact info to the loan company, and any other information you may find helpful along with supporting paperwork.

Page 7 (cont'd)- Property

If you own your car and home, this will be a good place to let your loved ones know where you want these items to go. DISCLAIMER: This document does NOT replace a will. Its a supporting document with information, you still need a will.

Clothing and other personal items will need to be squared away as well. For example, it is my desire for my daughter to have my wedding ring, my family can have whatever clothes they want and what whatever they don't want, I want it donated to a women's shelter.

Page 8-Bills and Accounts

We talked about your cell phone bill but how much is it, and where is the money drafted from?

Do you have subscriptions like Hulu, netflix, disney plus, etc? 

Do you have medicine prescriptions that automatically refill? Which pharmacy? Who is your PCP?

Who is your car insured through, what's the policy number, what account is it drafted from?

Include household bills that are in your name

If you are like me, and the bills are in your spouse's name, please make sure he/she makes a booklet as well in the event that something happens to you both at the same time. Imagine having all these details laid out but your family is still stressed because your significant other wasn't prepared.

Page 9- Business

If you own a business this page is where you include your LLC info, your EIN number and supporting paperwork, website information, and if you provide a product, how you want these products to be distributed.

Website--who is the site powered through, where is the domain paid for? What is the user name/email to login to make changes.

Page 10-Your children

Because my child is a minor I included a page with who she will live with in the event that Brandon and I transition at the same time. The person knows who they are, she knows my wishes and how I would like Alisa to be raised educationally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. 

I also included a letter to Alisa that she will have forever letting her know how much I love her.

Page 11- My obituary

Now I know this is where some people draw the line but hear me out. When my dad passed 1) referring to him in the past tense was HARD 2) Some of your life may not be well known. I don't want my loved ones trying to figure out what year I did this, what church I attended as a child, etc 3)This cuts out any drama on how it is written and who is included and in what order because whewwwww...I digress

Page 12-Funeral Services

Do you want to be buried or cremated?

Do you already have a plot?

Do you want a traditional service in a church?

Which church--your childhood church or the church you chose as an adult with your family?

Booklet styled obituary or a page folded in half

Casket color preference

Outfit preference

Flower choices

Do you have an officiant in mind?

Now I know for some this may come off as controlling and my family may completely ignore my preferences but let me tell you something that hurt BAD...flipping through a casket catalog frying to decide what color to get. I'm simply trying to lessen the load. because truth be told, those images are forever etched in my mind.

How great would it be to hand a portion of this booklet to a funeral director and they have all the main things they need. Your family may have to answer a few questions but it takes the strain off of them not to make so many decisions.

Ok, I did it...now what?

Once you have completed your booklet, print it out and put it in a safe place. Save the info to 3 jump drives or print or both--Give one to your beneficiary, one to your contingent beneficiary and another in a safe place like a safe deposit box or with important paperwork in your home. It is important that your loved ones put it somewhere save and out of sight (but not out of mind) because you don't someone to get a hold of all your personal information and steal your identity or change anything, being that they would have allllll your identifying information.

Alright! I feel better...Now we can go back to living our best lives and have assurance that if something happens to us, our family will be good! 

I'm glad we could have this talk and you didn't get all weird on me lol.

 In all seriousness, I love each of you. I am not a pro on any of this but I know the pain of burying a close loved one. Though this is uncomfortable, go ahead and get it done for the people who love you the most.

Until next time,

Coach Jaleesa